Tuesday, April 18, 2017

ALEX JONES: EXPOSED!


Thanks in part to a custody battle that the Texas loudmouth is going through with his soon-to-be (((ex-wife)))--and you better believe that triple-bracket status is going to come into play at some point--the single biggest name in full-spectrum bullshit delivery is going to have to admit that InfoWars is to journalism what Worldwide Wrestling Entertainment is to actual, competitive sports.

So, if wrasslers are engaged in "sports entertainment", as that drug addled pervert Vince McMahon had to admit a few years back in order to avoid going to jail, what will Alex Jones be calling his unique brand of faux journalism? "Facts entertainment" is still too inaccurate and insufficiently distancing.

If y'all have any suggestions, kindly post them in the comments section, below!

THE TALE OF (ANOTHER) TAPE


Friday, April 14, 2017

MEDIAVORE CROSS-POST ~ NEW MST3K EPISODES HAVE ARRIVED AT NETFLIX!


Much like the zoster virus--which covers you in unsightly chicken pox for a while before going dormant and laying in wait for years, only to reemerge when you least expect it, stronger and more vicious than ever, covering you in unsightly (and painful!) shingles--the greatest achievement in the history of humor-based televised audio/visual entertainment is back!

I am referring, of course, to Mystery Science Theater 3000, Eden Prairie Minnesota's own little cow-town puppet show made good.

MST3K, as we fans like to call it, premiered on a tiny UHF station in 1988 before becoming one of early cable TV's most critically acclaimed cult sensations. For ten years, it channel-hopped from The Comedy Channel/Comedy Central to the Sci-Fi Channel, producing nearly 200 full length episodes before apparently closing up shop for good in 1999.

Too much has already been written about the phenomenon that is MST3K for me to bother going over it all again for you now. The show's controversially huge Wikipedia entry goes into obsessive detail about everything from Joel Hodgson conceiving it as a way to help breathe comedic life into KTMA's hopelessly dated film catalog, to all the various cast switcheroos, to the show's ill-fated foray into making "cinema", to all the post-MST3K projects (like Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax), to the record-breaking Kickstarter revival that helped bring a full 11th season of the show to Netflix nearly 20 years after the final Sci-Fi Channel episode... so if you're one of those sad, unsullied fools still in need of a refresher course to remind you why this reboot is such a big freaking deal, you can always refer to that.

As for the rest of you--those who share in your humble blogger's absolute and unquestioning adoration of Mystery Science Theater 3000 as entertainment, yes, but also as a potentially powerful paradigm for a positive and progressive postmodernism--you need only know this: the first 14 episodes of the 11th season of MST3K all premiered on Netflix today, April 14th, 2017, one day before your humble blogger's 47th birthday... and you'll have to forgive me for getting more than a little mistie about the whole deal.

And so, as I hunker down to watch the first fresh episode of my favorite TV show of all time since watching the "lost" episode, featuring the film Merlin's Mystical Shoppe of Wonders, which aired on September 12, 1999, I promise to bring you updates, commentary, and bullet reviews for each episode. Watch for them to start appearing here, at the Mediavore, and also at my home base blog, the Daily Dirt Diaspora, seeing as I've been neglecting my duties there of late, due to the unfortunate combination of a paying graphics gig and the fact that Trump's increasingly unhinged behavior has got me so spooked I don't even want to comment on his shenanigans anymore for fear he might read something I wrote and launch nukes at Grenada or some other crazy shit like that.

Keep watching this space! HUZZAH!

Saturday, April 1, 2017

AN INFO-GRAPHIC TWEET FROM THE ANTI-TRUMP

The Anti-Trump posts a lot of great, share-worthy stuff on her Twitter account, which you should totally be subscribed to by now if you aren't. 

CASUAL FRIDAYS WITH THE MAJORITY REPORT

Two hours and forty-five minutes into this edition of my favorite daily political chat-fest, Sam and his pals make mince-meat out of a pseudo-mongo alt.right Bell-Curvista, and it's definitely worth the drive to Acton!


Friday, March 31, 2017

DDD EXECUTIVE SUMMARY ~ MARCH 31, 2017


IN THE MEANTIME...

Hey guys! Yer old pal Jerky scored a professional illustration gig with a company here in Toronto, and it's going to be taking up a few hours a day for at least the next five days, which means my blogging will be somewhat more sparse and haphazard for the foreseeable near future. 

Oh, I'll still be posting! But it'll probably most likely be links to other people's stuff (and guest editorials should any of you lazy fuckers decide to participate like in the good old days). 

Anyway, y'all should still check back periodically, as there is some kuh-RAY-zee shit going down after a couple of relatively slow news days, and I'll be focused on bringing you the unheralded side-news and connecting the rogue dots that the mainstream media love to shove aside in the service of their ongoing Master Narratives. They've ALL got one. 

Cheers!
yer old pal Jerky
***
SUGGESTED READINGS


1. We've all heard of White Lies, but have you ever heard of Blue Lies? Apparently, that's the relatively new psychiatric terminology for the very specific type of lies that Trump likes to tell, as explained in this Scientific American blog post. It begins:
Donald Trump tells lies. 
His deceptions and misleading statements are easy to unmask. In the latest example—after hundreds of well-documented lies—FBI director James Comey told Congress this week that there is “no information that supports” Trump’s claim that President Obama tapped his phone. 
But Trump’s political path presents a paradox. Far from slowing his momentum, his deceit seemed only to strengthen his support through the primary and national election. Now, every time a lie is exposed, his support among Republicans doesn’t seem to waver very much. In the wake of the Comey revelations, his average approval rating held at 40 percent. 
This has led many people to ask themselves: How does the former reality-TV star get away with it? How can he tell so many lies and still win support from many Americans?
Journalists and researchers have suggested many answers, from hyper-biased, segmented media to simple ignorance on the part of GOP voters. But there is another explanation that no one seems to have entertained. It is that Trump is telling “blue” lies—a psychologist’s term for falsehoods, told on behalf of a group, that can actually strengthen the bonds among the members of that group. 
Children start to tell selfish lies at about age three, as they discover adults cannot read their minds: I didn’t steal that toy, Daddy said I could, He hit me first. At around age seven, they begin to tell white lies motivated by feelings of empathy and compassion: That’s a good drawing, I love socks for Christmas, You’re funny. 
Blue lies are a different category altogether, simultaneously selfish and beneficial to others—but only to those who belong to your group. As University of Toronto psychologist Kang Lee explains, blue lies fall in between generous white lies and selfish “black” ones. “You can tell a blue lie against another group,” he says, which makes it simultaneously selfless and self-serving. “For example, you can lie about your team's cheating in a game, which is antisocial, but helps your team.”
Sound like anything you've heard on the news recently? It sure does to yer old pal Jerky. Keep reading. There's lots of brainy goodness to be had in the rest of the article.


2. Yeah, so all those snooty, snotty, alt.left muckety-mucks who go around saying shit like: "I'll believe that the Trump administration and/or the Trump Family and/or the Trump Organization have a wide variety of deeply entrenched and most likely highly illegal connections with the Kremlin and/or with Putin-affiliated oligarchs and/or with Russian organized crime, ONLY WHEN AND IF I am personally hand delivered irrefutable evidence of said accusations by Eva Green (or Michael Fassbender) while they feed me grapes and tell me what a good and smart little boy or girl I've been for maintaining my saintly, above-it-all skepticism despite the intolerable torture of having the neo-McCarthyite Faux Left say hurtful things about me, day in and day out." This article on WHY the FBI can't reveal everything they currently know about Trump and Russia is for THAT bunch of fucking goofs. It begins:
The Federal Bureau of Investigation cannot tell us what we need to know about Donald Trump’s contacts with Russia. Why? Because doing so would jeopardize a long-running, ultra-sensitive operation targeting mobsters tied to Russian President Vladimir Putin — and to Trump.
It gets more in depth, of course, but the gist--which, quite frankly, was obvious to anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together--is all any civilian really needs to know at this point. And yes, I'm being serious.

3. "Psychic Sexual Time Travel! Evil Reptilian Overlords! That's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the greatest conspiracy theory of all time: The Redhawk Project!" As the inaugural edition of the DDD's new promise to bring you, the reader, works and creators that are simply TOO GOOD FOR YOUTUBETM, I bring +you the inimitable Bowser Vids, and his beautifully true-to-form take on the kind of shitty conspiritard "documentary" videos that people used to VHS tape off the TV back in the late 80's early 90's.  I guarantee you'll enjoy this short but sweet video, as well as the vast majority of Bowser's output, which includes a strong stable of recurring characters and fresh takes on shopworn sketchcom tropes!


***
QUOTE OF THE DAY


“I didn't hear a word she said. I was looking at her James Brown wig. Do we have a picture of James? It's the same wig!

- Listen folks... I take a backseat to no one when it comes to despising the odious booze-drenched sex pest that is Bill O'Reilly. And I admire Representative Maxine Waters (D-Cali) and her fearless willingness to always speak truth to power. I truly do. But even I have to admit... that James Brown diss was pretty fuckin' funny.
***
DDD EXTRAS
  • If you want to learn about some cool and/or weird things that happened on whatever day of history that it happens to be when you're reading this, why not check out our sister-site, Useless Eater Blog? You're sure to find something of interest, guaranteed!
  • At the Kubrick U blog, you can viddy some very horrosho, very 70's Clockwork Orange bubble gum collector's cards!
***
A REMEMBRANCE

This week, I learned that a beloved resident of my adopted neighborhood of Parkdale, Toronto, had passed away under a troubling set of circumstances early in the month of March. The community's sadness at having lost our unofficial "greeter" was sufficiently great that news of Nav's passing made its way all the way up to the CBC, Canada's national public broadcasting corporation. 

Nav was one of those cursed/blessed martyrs who, in their refusal to acknowledge the terrible truth of cosmic futility, make up the volunteer workforce through whose sacrifice the very fabric of the universe is held together. 

As it is my sincerely held belief that said aforementioned universe is a singularity--that it is one thing, which means that, to ever have lived is to be, in a very real sense, immortal--I would like to share a poem with you all, in Nav's memory... 

1=0=INFINITY

The universe is one.
Nothing that is, is not.
All that is, is.

The universe is infinite.
Infinity contains infinite infinities.
Everything that is, is repeated, infinitely.
Thus, infinity is one.

Because the universe is infinite,
And because the universe is one,
The universe does not exist.
It cannot begin until it is finished.
It is finished before it can begin.

One = Infinity = Zero.

Now is the arrow that cuts the air.
We are the air, split by the arrow.
We are not now.
Because we are not infinite.
Because we are not one.
And because we exist.

***

Thursday, March 30, 2017

LOTS OF GREAT STUFF IN TODAY'S MAJORITY REPORT

If you're a fan of the Daily Dirt Diaspora as it has been evolving in the Age of Trump, one of the other outlets that you should probably be watching/listening to on a fairly regular basis is the Majority Report with Sam Seder and Pals. It's a great choice if you're more lefty than the Democratic Party average, but not so lefty that you've slipped into the kind of doctrinaire, inflexible, uber-PC, appropriation-phobic, over-"theoried", dum-dum lefty idiocy that somehow makes you come to the conclusion that there's nothing to all this Trump/Russia brouhaha.


Tuesday, March 28, 2017

AL GORE ASKED ME TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU GUYS


HERE'S HOW THIS WILL END FOR TRUMP (THREE OPTIONS)


DDD EXECUTIVE SUMMARY ~ MARCH 28, 2017

We all know how this White House just HATES to jump to conclusions...
DID YOU KNOW?
  • Did you know that, when asked for the White House's reaction to news that a race terrorist (James Jackson) had traveled to New York City and murdered someone (Timothy Caughman) with a sword, spokesman Sean Spicer chose instead to complain about how the biased media had failed to predict that the idiot who called in hundreds of bomb threats to Jewish schools and community centers would turn out to be Jewish, himself? Fucking incredible, ain't it?
  • Did you know that over 200 men, women and children were blown to pieces on Thursday during an American bombing raid in Mosul, Iraq? And that military officials are hinting that this may be the fruit of Trump demanding that Obama era "restrictions", designed to lessen the chance and impact of civilian casualties, be dropped?
  • Did you know that while White House leakers were planting the story that Trump was "very upset" with son-in-law Jared Kushner for jetting off to Aspen for a family ski vacation during the final days in the disastrous campaign to pass Trumpcare, evidence has emerged that there may be a whole lot more to that Aspen trip than just skiing? Considering some of the other stuff this Eric Rosenwald cat has uncovered recently--and considering who's involved--I'd be avoiding small aircraft and packing heat at all times if I were him.
  • Did you know that Alex Jones' apology for helping to spread the incredibly stupid alt.right conspiracy theory-cum-Fascist International psychological operation known as PizzaGate was totally sincere, legit, and above board? Here! Watch and listen for yourself!
  • Did you know that Donald Trump supporters in Ohio don't just know that the man they voted for is lying to them on the regular... nor do they simply accept it... but that they've actually grown to ENJOY being lied to and taken for suckers?
  • Did you know that Trump's recent meeting with German chancelor Angela Merkel was even more awkward and humiliating than we'd been lead to believe? Aside from the infamous handshake refusal incident, we've since learned that, during their private meeting behind closed doors, Trump handed Merkel a literal, paper and ink, printed out invoice for $374,000,000,000.00?! This, allegedly, is the amount that Trump and his minions have calculated that Germany owes to NATO... you know... for 'protection'. Ah... another totally diplomatic, above board, and not at all thuggish gesture from Trump!
  • And finally, did you know that those upstart lefties over at (ahem) Business Insider have put together a month-by-month timeline of events that unfolded during the election that seem to support the FBI's investigation into Trump colluding with the Russians? To paraphrase one of our age's great statesmen: "It's true! It's really true! Bad (or sick) guy!"
***
SUGGESTED READINGS

1. Are you ready for an incredibly information-dense serving of food for thought? Iain Sinclair's The Last London, derived from his February 10 presentation of the first of the London Review of Books' Winter Lecture series for 2017, serves as a meal and a half to those ready, willing and able to digest it. Half pre-Apocalyptic post-Modern fantasia and half hauntological mystery tour, it begins:
So: the last London. It has to be said with a climbing inflection at the end. Every statement is provisional here. Nothing is fixed or grounded. Come back tomorrow and the British Museum will be an ice rink, a boutique hotel, a fashion hub. The familiar streets outside will have vanished into walls of curved glass and progressive holes in the ground. The darkened showroom of the Brick Lane monumental mason with the Jewish headstones will be an art gallery. 
So? The Victorian theatre on Dalston Lane is already a windblown concrete slab with optional water jets propping up a reef of speculative towers nobody can afford on a buttress of failed enterprises, themed restaurants forever changing their allegiance and retail opportunities nobody is rushing to take up, despite those elegantly faded CGI panoramas of satisfied customers who never lived in the world as we know it. 
So? I’m trying to teach myself the grammar of a terminated city in which every sentence begins with a confident clearing of the throat: ‘So …’ That’s the entry code. It’s as if you’ve been shoved onstage, without lines, in a play you’ve never read. Smile brightly. Bluff like a politician in a glass booth being manipulated by semaphoring black-suited attendants with clipboards. 
So? ‘All for the best in the best of all possible Londons,’ says the mayor, says the minister, says Joanna Lumley. ‘All for the best,’ say the entitled, the connected, the stakeholders, the investors and the profit-takers. That insignificant ‘so’ has moved with the times. When my children were teenagers, ‘so’ meant ‘so’. 
So!!! So what? A hormonal challenge. Now it’s a signifier, a warning bleep letting the recipient know that nothing that follows has any billable consequence. The speaker, the spokesperson, the hireling expert, is not accountable. Language in the last London is a negotiation, a spin of terminological inexactitudes. 
We are losing the ground beneath our feet. Slipping and sliding on subordinating conjunctions, we are disorientated. We feel as if we are falling as we walk, reaching out for anything cold and hard and more than a week old. In his book Vertical: The City from Satellites to Bunkers, the geographer Stephen Graham quotes Hito Steyerl, a German video artist: ‘Many contemporary philosophers have pointed out that the present moment is distinguished by a prevailing condition of groundlessness.’ 
Call it ground-zero vertigo. Non-specific paranoia. Territory, as soon as it can be adequately surveyed by drones, or hard-hat visionaries in helicopters, from heights where even the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park looks great, is only there to be explained, improved, colonised and captured. So? 
So? So what?
I realize that sounds like the end of the thing, but trust me, it's only just the beginning. Sinclair goes on, bringing in everyone from Thatcher and Reagan to J.G. Ballard and Michael Moorcock to Punk Rock and Fu Manchu. Also, there's an audio version at the link that serves as both a running commentary to the text and an augmentation of it (differing very much from the work it's allegedly an audio version of, for some reason). If you're sincerely interested in broadening your intellectual horizons and you've got an Internet connection and 90 minutes to kill, you could certainly do worse than read, and listen to, Sinclair's epic editorial peregrinations.


2. While it should in no way be viewed as the final word on the subject, practicing clinical psychologist Bruce Levine's Alternet essay "How Ayn Rand Helped Turn the U.S. into a Selfish, Greedy Nation" is one of the best things I've read about this noxious author in a very long time, and could definitely serve as a very fine critical introduction to--and thus, a good inoculation against--some of the more pernicious elements of her work, her "philosophy", and her cult. After an epigram by Gore Vidal, it begins:
Only rarely in U.S. history do writers transform us to become a more caring or less caring nation. In the 1850s, Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896) was a strong force in making the United States a more humane nation, one that would abolish slavery of African Americans. A century later, Ayn Rand (1905-1982) helped make the United States into one of the most uncaring nations in the industrialized world, a neo-Dickensian society where healthcare is only for those who can afford it, and where young people are coerced into huge student-loan debt that cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. 
Rand’s impact has been widespread and deep. At the iceberg’s visible tip is the influence she’s had over major political figures who have shaped American society. In the 1950s, Ayn Rand read aloud drafts of what was later to become Atlas Shrugged to her “Collective,” Rand’s ironic nickname for her inner circle of young individualists, which included Alan Greenspan, who would serve as chairman of the Federal Reserve Board from 1987 to 2006. 
In 1966, Ronald Reagan wrote in a personal letter, “Am an admirer of Ayn Rand.” Today, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) credits Rand for inspiring him to go into politics, and Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) calls Atlas Shrugged his “foundation book.” Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) says Ayn Rand had a major influence on him, and his son Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) is an even bigger fan. A short list of other Rand fans includes Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas; Christopher Cox, chairman of the Security and Exchange Commission in George W. Bush’s second administration; and former South Carolina governor Mark Sanford. 
But Rand’s impact on U.S. society and culture goes even deeper.

Levine has done yeoman's work, bringing us his specialist's take on Rand's peculiarly popular psychopathologies. If you've got any committed Randroids in your entourage, don't bother sending this to them. But DO send it to anyone you think that Randroid might possibly infect. And remember: Friends don't let Friends read Ayn Rand!

3. Yer old pal Jerky loves him some Mystery Science Theater 3000. In fact, I think it's one of the greatest--and definitely among the funniest--television programs in the history of the medium. I've been down about MST3K's cancellation since 1999 for Torgo's sake! So when news emerged that Joel was doing a Kickstarter for a new version of the show, I was like, YEAH! And then, when they broke all Kickstarter records for a TV show, I was like, HELL's YEAH! And then, when I found out it was gonna be on Netflix, which means all the first season episodes are gonna drop simultaneously, I was like, FRICKEN' ACE! And then, when I found out that the new season of MST3K was basically popping into existence ON MY BIRTHDAY, I was like, PPFFRREAAAAHHRRGGHH!!! Anyway, Today's Suggested Readings are pretty heavy, so here's a 48 second commercial for the new season of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Huzzah!

***
QUOTE OF THE DAY

I think that sooner or later the white working-class constituency will recognize, and in fact, much of the rural population will come to recognize, that [Trump's] promises are built on sand. There is nothing there. And then what happens becomes significant. In order to maintain his popularity, the Trump administration will have to try to find some means of rallying the support and changing the discourse from the policies that they are carrying out, which are basically a wrecking ball to something else. ... And that can turn out to be very ugly. I think that we shouldn't put aside the possibility that there would be some kind of staged or alleged terrorist act, which can change the country instantly.

- Oh, so now the world's most widely respected public intellectual, Professor Noam Fucking Chomsky, is willing to "go there", is he? Welcome to the Parapolitical Science Club, Noam. Sure fuckin' took you long enough to get here.

DDD EXTRAS
  • If you want to learn about some cool and/or weird things that happened on whatever day of history that it happens to be when you're reading this, why not check out our sister-site, Useless Eater Blog? You're sure to find something of interest, guaranteed!
  • At the Kubrick U blog, you can viddy some very horrosho, very 70's Clockwork Orange bubble gum collector's cards!
THE TAKEAWAY

I have reformulated my image from the last DDD Executive Summary in order to more accurately reflect the way Trump backed off from his repeal and replace of Obamacare... and to add a tattered American flag. I think this way is better, frankly, because the original invests Trump's self-destruction with far too much conscious agency.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

DDD EXECUTIVE SUMMARY ~ MARCH 25, 2017


THINK TRUMP IS TIRED OF WINNING YET?

Watching the Trumpcare debacle play itself out the way it did left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied... kind of hollow inside, like we'd been denied some truly cleansing, calamitous conclusion, instead of what happened, which was essentially a slow rolling stop, followed by a beeping noise as the whole thing ignominiously ground its gears into reverse... and went away under a sulking cloud of We Give Up.

Don't get me wrong! Watching Trump suckle at the teat of failure is always nothing less than divine. But let’s pause for a moment and consider the implications of Trump failing to pass his first piece of signature legislative business: the repeal and replacement of that dreaded bugaboo, Obamacare. And no, it was not all just a part of some brilliant scheme by Steve Bannon to smoke out disloyal Republicans in order to identify them so that they might be targeted for future removal, as some right wingers have begun to speculate.

No, two things are immediately plain to see. First, up until early Friday afternoon, Trump actually thought he had the political capital to bull this thing trough Congress. Second, it's obvious that Trump's first order of business since Friday afternoon's unprecedented humiliation has been to find someone, ANYONE, to soak up the blame for his total, abject failure. 

So... who has Trump tried to blame so far?

The Democrats were his first target, of course, as anyone could have told you they were going to be. But even a blind man could see that it isn’t the Democrats who pooped in Trump’s metaphorical punch bowl this time. No, this was clearly a friendly fire incident. It was a couple dozen Republicans who refused to back Trump's dead-on-arrival legislative loser of a healthcare package. 

One interesting aspect of this phenomenon is trying to suss out exactly why so many Republican House members refused to back both their President and their Speaker. I mean, it's hard to quantify just exactly how big of a deal this is... how bad it makes the GOP look. 

Rhetorically, the Republican nay-sayers are all publicly criticizing AHCA from the right; saying that it does, and costs, too much. This is to be expected, as the modern GOP is a rigid and doctrinaire conservative movementarian party. 

However, the way yer old pal Jerky sees it, I think the real reason these "Freedom Caucus" cuckoos buckled and joined the Dems is because deep down, they knew it was a terrible piece of legislation. And even if, as philosophically rigid conservative movementarians, they couldn't give less of a shit about millions of Americans losing their healthcare coverage... they do give a shit about keeping their jobs, and all the perks and power that come with their political careers.

Which brings us to Saturday afternoon, when Trump took time out from his no doubt hectic schedule to take to Twitter and make a television viewing suggestion to all his many followers and fans:



Gee, after such a bruising couple of days, I wonder why Trump could possibly think it was important for his followers to tune into that walking, talking, plastic surgery disaster's show? Let's tune in and find out! 


Oooh... NOW I get it! Trump has settled on his scapegoat! He's decided Wisconsin's own Paul Ryan (R-Munster) is going to be the one to absorb all the blame for Trumpcare’s failure! And he's chosen Jeanine Pirro, the Wicked Witch of Westchester, to serve as his Creeping Death!

Personally, yer old pal Jerky's favorite moment from the above video is when this reptilian scorpion-woman disingenuously hisses through her pursed buccal sphincter: "Now, I certainly have not spoken with the President about ANY of this!" CLASSIC!

You know, there's just something so nakedly transparent about all this, so pathetically desperate and pathologically deceitful… it's just so fucking AWESOME!!!

MINUTIA AND INCONSEQUENTIA
  • Did y'all catch former CIA Director James Woolsey tattling on disgraced National Security Advisor Mike Flynn, giving details about how he was there for the highly troubling White House meetings during which Flynn and his gaggle of Turkish paymasters tried to convince Trump to approve their plan to kidnap exiled cleric Fetulah Gulen from his compound in the Poconos and whisk him back to Turkey for... (ahem) "questioning" by the Erdogan regime? Wasn't it cute the way Woolsey backed away with his hands held up in front of him while shakily explaining how he, himself, had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with those profoundly illegal plans? 
  • And did you hear that Flynn might... MIGHT!!! ...have turned state witness against Trump, striking a deal with the FBI in their whole ongoing probe into the connections between the Trump administration and Trump private interests with the Kremlin, Russian oligarchs, and Russian organized crime? If true... Yowza.
  • One of the many delightful political ironies that took place last week was when the United States Supreme Court unanimously concluded that Trump's Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch, who was at that very moment being interviewed for the job by the Senate Judiciary Committee, really shit the metaphotical bed in his 2008 decision involving the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. As if that wasn't enough, Gorsuch was later taken to the woodshed by Minesotta's Al Franken, the man who will soon become America's first Jewish President, according to yer old pal Jerky's crystal ball. 
  • Remember back in our March 19 edition, when I suggested you read the Washington Post's really pretty funny satirical defense of what was being described as Trump's "hard power" budget? It was titled "Trump's Budget Makes Perfect Sense and Will Fix American and I'll Tell You Why", and it described how cutting Meals on Wheels was just the thing to whip our fat, crippled seniors back into fighting trim... you know, stuff like that. It was pretty obvious that the budget was being mocked. Obvious to everyone... except the White House, apparently, who decided to chalk it up as a win in their daily release of pro-Trump knob-polishing drivel from the fart-catching likes of FOX "News" and Breitbart. Oopsie!
  • Did you know that, in Belarus, President Alexander Lukashenko (who's been in power since 1994 for fuck's sake) recently implemented a $230 "social parasite tax" that you have to pay if you go six months without working a job of some sort? The citizens of Belarus don't like it, but Lukashenko, like Trump, takes his ruling style cues from fellow strongman Vladimir Putin. Which is also why Americans should probably take note. With Trump's key, signature legislative effort now reduced to a mouthful of smoldering ash, he's probably going to be looking overseas for innovative new ways to pay for all those military increases he wants so badly. Because, let's face it, firing Big Bird might prove popular with his base, but it's small beans in terms of savings. Considering Lukashenko already has the Putin seal of approval, can a tax on, oh... say, speaking Spanish in public, or having "overly melenated skin" be far behind?
  • And finally for today, on the very same day that Conspiritard-in-Chief Alex Jones attempted to weasel his way out of a lawsuit by publicly apologizing for the role he played in spreading all that PizzaGate nonsense over the past few months, dozens of the self-same people he'd helped to inspire gathered in Washington to "demand PizzaGate justice" or some other such bullshit. How did we get to the point where perfect idiots who literally know nothing about anything all of a sudden think that they know everything there is to know about everything, without even having to crack a book?! Fucking Internet has doomed us all, folks.
***
SUGGESTED READINGS


1. Gotta admit, of all the stories I've run across in the last couple of days' websurfing, the one that caught me most off-guard was "Trafficked and Enslaved: The Teenagers Tending UK Cannabis Farms" in The Guardian, by Amelia Gentleman. She presents the harrowing tales of Vietnamese teens who are hoodwinked into "tending Britain's makeshift drug factories in empty buildings from suburban homes to a nuclear bunker." Gentleman writes:
The story of how much of the UK’s cannabis is grown sounds too far-fetched to be true: an international network of traffickers brings teenage boys from Vietnam to become enslaved gardeners in British suburbs. Yet every few weeks, another farm is discovered and new arrests are made. 
Local newspapers offer fleeting insights into the industry, with scant facts: that police raided a red-brick terrace house on a suburban road in Liverpool after neighbours complained of the smell, and found the house stripped of furniture and converted into a cannabis farm, with two teenage boys hiding, terrified, beneath the floorboards. That a cannabis gardener in County Armagh was found living on tins of dog food. Or that police visited a two-storey house in Plymouth and found cannabis plants in every room, cellar to attic, tended by a Vietnamese boy with injuries to his face, who said he was 13; he was put in the care of social services while investigations were launched, but within days he had disappeared.
This is some incredibly dark shit that Gentleman is exposing, here, and she's doing great work by bringing the stories of individual victims to the public's attention. Please give her story a read.


2. If you've been reading my work for any amount of time, you're likely very much aware that yer old pal Jerky worships unabashedly at the Temple of Floyd. You're also likely very much aware that I am a huge fan of progressive rock in general, and that, as a proud French Canadian, I take great delight in my people's wholehearted embracing of a musical genre that is considered by Anglo music snobs to be the worst of the worst of the worst. And so you might think I'd be totally on board for composer Julien Bilodeau's re-imagining of Roger Waters' rock opera The Wall, as performed by the world renowned Opera de Montreal, under the title Another Brick in the Wall. Unfortunately, for a number of reasons including but not limited to the fact that there's already a nearly fatal dose of pomposity in the original, rock opera version... I'm not. Not that it's going to matter to the promoters. It's been such a success in Montreal, they're taking the show on the road. In any case, you can check out the link provided above for a sense of how Bilodeau "improved" upon the source material for his project.

3. Check out this absolutely bonkers trailer for a new "extreme horror" film called The Evil Within, which you can watch via Video on Demand at Amazon (sorry, but I'm having trouble finding a Canadian VOD source at the moment)...


Pretty cuckoo, right? Well guess what? The back story on how this film got made is even more bonkers than this trailer makes the movie out to be. The Evil Within was the fifteen years in the making passion project of millionaire meth addict (and cinematic neophyte) Andrew Rork Getty (of the GETTY Gettys), who died before he could see his project be released. Which is kind of sad, because by the looks of things, The Evil Within has the makings to be a lasting and legit cult classic. Once I've found a way to pay for and download it up here in the Great White North, I'll publish my review over at The Mediavore!
***
QUOTE OF THE DAY


“This, to us, is something that we're not going to give up on. We're not going to give up on destroying the healthcare system for the American people.

- Paul Ryan (R-Munster) lets loose with the mother of all Freudian slips after the humiliating friendly fire downfall of his and Trump's signature piece of conservative movementarian pseudo-legislation. By the way, if you're interested in finding out what could possibly be the quintessential Trump administration quote uttered so far, the Washington Post has a real groovy tournament going on to figure out that very thing!

DDD EXTRAS
THE TAKEAWAY

All in all it's just another day filled with what feels like an unprecedented wave of insults and injuries, great and small. I mean, am I crazy, or does it seem as though the foundations of Western civilization are crumbling beneath our collective feet as we marvel (and, occasionally, blog) about it all?